so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
