he thought i was a dude.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i think my cat just said my name.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
