And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
