I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
