I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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