I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
No subtext here. People are naked.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize