her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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