whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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