I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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