The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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