apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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