you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
