if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Two words: nipple clamps
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