there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
