coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We left the knife in your bed.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
