You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Randomize