yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
