Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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