I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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