If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
