spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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