Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
