so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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