Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
