There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
this boner is exhausting
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He passed out mid-signature
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
