I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
