Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
