I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck