Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.