Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.

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  (301): That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk. http://tfl.nu/t1w6
  Replies (2) Good night (1108) Bad night (442)
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  (562): View more from California

  hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available

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  (562): hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available http://tfl.nu/v31e
  Replies (5) Good night (1179) Bad night (559)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty

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  (609): i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty http://tfl.nu/sjep
  Replies (6) Good night (2775) Bad night (664)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids

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  (720): Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids http://tfl.nu/b5v5
  Replies (25) Good night (10289) Bad night (1535)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it

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  (407): Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it http://tfl.nu/9yek
  Replies (3) Good night (2192) Bad night (777)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?

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  (+44): you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck? http://tfl.nu/szfq
  Replies (8) Good night (1829) Bad night (688)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.

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  (603): His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice. http://tfl.nu/yv8x
  Replies (1) Good night (1154) Bad night (464)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?

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  (443): This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled? http://tfl.nu/awza
  Replies (3) Good night (1100) Bad night (477)
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  (310): View more from California

  Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation

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  (310): Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation http://tfl.nu/nk1k
  Replies (10) Good night (506) Bad night (1088)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.

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  (720): This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you. http://tfl.nu/ixe4
  Replies (1) Good night (1222) Bad night (361)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...

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  (612): We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game... http://tfl.nu/bxkh
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (302)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation

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  (902): you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation http://tfl.nu/4hrf
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (534)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Got another job?

  (607): View more from New York

  If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.

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  (740): Got another job? (607): If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job. http://tfl.nu/7dk4
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.

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  (618): I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night. http://tfl.nu/847z
  Replies (0) Good night (568) Bad night (371)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla

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  (248): After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla http://tfl.nu/8bae
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (198)

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