Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he wasnt completely random

  (914): View more from New York

  you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i get things done.

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  (201): he wasnt completely random (914): you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont (201): i get things done. http://tfl.nu/5ew9
  Replies (14) Good night (1455) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I got "discovered a new religion high" last night

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  (214): I got "discovered a new religion high" last night http://tfl.nu/qcb6
  Replies (23) Good night (5067) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.

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  (210): I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it. http://tfl.nu/c8qq
  Replies (4) Good night (2396) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that

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  (845): I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that http://tfl.nu/j3rv
  Replies (7) Good night (1730) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.

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  (508): Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated. http://tfl.nu/0bri
  Replies (18) Good night (4479) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.

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  (416): Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything. http://tfl.nu/up9n
  Replies (59) Good night (1018) Bad night (5440)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  .It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort

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  (978): .It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort http://tfl.nu/ljpb
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity

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  (416): I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity http://tfl.nu/q8vj
  Replies (0) Good night (395) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Fly high, Fly.

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  (404): Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke (678): Fly high, Fly. http://tfl.nu/tym4
  Replies (0) Good night (834) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record

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  (614): I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record http://tfl.nu/iop1
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.

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  (678): If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself. http://tfl.nu/rz6k
  Replies (5) Good night (1293) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.

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  (801): That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/15kk
  Replies (6) Good night (474) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.

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  (512): You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship. http://tfl.nu/33lr
  Replies (2) Good night (306) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...

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  (860): I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks... http://tfl.nu/cacu
  Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?

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  (905): Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid? http://tfl.nu/amx6
  Replies (0) Good night (207) Bad night (46)

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