Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I wanna eat

  (562): View more from California

  then frost

  (562): View more from California

  then eat your cupcake

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  (562): I wanna eat (562): then frost (562): then eat your cupcake http://tfl.nu/zc7x
  Replies (12) Good night (1154) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...

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  (516): I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero... http://tfl.nu/d5tx
  Replies (24) Good night (5635) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.

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  (504): Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid. http://tfl.nu/2kcb
  Replies (20) Good night (819) Bad night (4286)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist

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  (301): dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist http://tfl.nu/26ue
  Replies (6) Good night (4973) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.

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  (585): yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign. http://tfl.nu/yitg
  Replies (10) Good night (3206) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.

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  (917): Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea. http://tfl.nu/2kaw
  Replies (12) Good night (1811) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.

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  (814): Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/cbd5
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (1672)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.

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  (573): ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME. http://tfl.nu/9twm
  Replies (4) Good night (1671) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.

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  (612): Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine. http://tfl.nu/simr
  Replies (5) Good night (534) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.

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  (248): Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime. http://tfl.nu/xtk5
  Replies (11) Good night (2319) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.

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  (970): The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless. http://tfl.nu/oac7
  Replies (6) Good night (992) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there

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  (925): You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there http://tfl.nu/g2al
  Replies (3) Good night (915) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.

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  (519): You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew. http://tfl.nu/ni79
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too

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  (731): Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too http://tfl.nu/4c0u
  Replies (8) Good night (1236) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?

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  (267): do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate? http://tfl.nu/3j8j
  Replies (3) Good night (683) Bad night (252)

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