she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
