Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
