His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
