its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
