Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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