On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
