i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
