So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
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