This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
