Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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