giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
