Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
