Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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