you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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