The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I need water and some morals
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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