I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
