and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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