im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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