Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
