my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I skipped work to stalk him.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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