my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize