My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He did a backflip because drugs
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