ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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