Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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