dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
