We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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