My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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