girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
