We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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