so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
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A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.