Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
