I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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