People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
