walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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