I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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