don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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