ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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