Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
