Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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