He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
