he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
