You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
