I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
